Some days I’d wake up and not even be sure what city I was in. That’s not so unusual when you tour with a rock and roll band, but as tour manager it was my job to know. It was my job to know lots of things, the hotels, the arenas, the caterers, the VIP list, the police department, and the security staff and, on unpleasant occasions, the people who could do us special favors. I usually knew what time the sound checks were at every place we played. But, as I learned, sometimes an occasional fuckup can be just what you needed.
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I was buried in shit that morning. The hotel in Cleveland had cancelled our reservations because our lead guitarist had trashed his room the last time he stayed there. The Chicago caterer was having trouble finding the exotic fish our prima donna lead singer insisted she had to eat each Friday on her weird diet. To top it all off, I’d just found out that our drummer was getting hit with a paternity suit from some kid who allegedly fucked him last time we were in Buffalo. It was only a little after noon and my head was spinning. Maybe that’s why I thought we had a noon sound check today. I’d already decided to blow it off, if they needed me they’d call. They always did, day or night.
“What are we going to do with that girl,” a very frustrated Marie Downs asked her husband, “she’s eighteen years old and still can’t stop touching herself in public!?!” “Don’t look at me, dear,” Ed Downs replied quickly, “if you wanna say something to her, go ahead, but leave me out of it!!!” “Some help you are,” Marie said with exasperation, “your daughter’s behaving like a monkey in the zoo and all you can do is say keep me out of it, what kind of father are you anyway!?!” “The kind that feels uncomfortable talking about sex with his grown up daughter,” he shot back at her, “come on, Marie, give me a break will ya, this is the kind of thing that a mother should handle, now leave me alone, I’m gonna finish reading the sports page!!!” Marie just stared at her husband for a few seconds, and then shrugged her shoulders in disgust and stalked away vowing to come up with some sort of plan to curb her daughter of her public self abuse!!!
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“I’m just at my wits end,” Marie said to her best friend Veronica, “she’s acting like a little slut and there doesn’t seem to be a thing that I can do to stop her!!!” Veronica poured each of them another cup of coffee and joked, “So she has a hot pussy, it must run in the family!!!” “Very funny,” Marie replied, “I don’t deny I love sex, but there’s a time and place for everything, and in our living room with the whole family around is definitely not the place!!!” “Hmmmmmm, I guess not,” Roni replied thoughtfully, “you mean like it wasn’t the time or place to screw Ed in the broom closet last year after Janet’s wedding, or the time you sucked him off in the parking lot in the mall parking lot, you mean like that!?!” “Don’t change the subject,” Marie snapped, “I’d had a lot to drink at Janet’s wedding, and as far as the parking lot thing was concerned, Ed practically forced me to do him, and besides, no one could see us!!!” “I know, I know,” Roni replied, “all I’m just saying is that Paige isn’t the only one who has a streak of exhibitionism in her, you could almost say like mother like daughter!!!”
Steffi Lange swept into her office with a grim look on her face while her executive assistant, Shelly Engel, rolled her eyes and thought to herself, “Oh shit, it’s gonna be one of those days!!!” After pouring a fresh cup of coffee, she knocked on Steffi’s door and entered the boss’s office. “Here’s your coffee and the Journal, she said, placing them on the desk in front of the blond executive. “Men are such pigs,” spat Steffi! “What happened,” asked Shelly, as she took a chair across from the large desk in front of her boss? “When I was walking from the train I think every man on the street must have looked at my chest, it just makes me sick,” said an irate Steffi!!! Now Steffi Lange was a very good looking woman with mane of blond hair and long slim legs, she is just naturally going to command attention from the opposite sex, but what really makes them sit up and take notice, however, is her more than ample chest, an easy 38D, she is every man’s wet dream! Her unusually large nipples seem to be constantly erect, and it seemed that no matter how heavy a bra or blouse, they poke through the fabric and saying to the world, “Here I am, look at me,” and that is exactly what happens! This morning for example, at least twice one man poked another in the ribs just to point out her obvious assets! In the winter at least she could cover up with a heavy coat, but in this heat, even a light jacket felt oppressive!!!
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Shelly got up from her chair and walked around behind Steffi’s chair and slid her hands down and cupped the over stuffed chest that was still heaving from the tirade! “Let me help you relax, boss,” offered Shelly! As many times as she had held them, Shelly was still mesmerized by the heft and firmness of such a large bust, and under her expert hand, the already hard nipples strained even harder to poke through the thin cloth. Steffi leaned back and was noticeably quieter as the magic fingers massaged her heavy tits while Shelly asked softly, “More?!?” After a little nod from Steffi, Shelly unbuttoned the silk blouse and reached inside to feel the sheer bra that was being asked to do a lot of work holding all that tit flesh in place! Steffi was now squirming in her chair, opening and closing her legs, trying to put pressure on her now wet pussy as her assistant manipulated her massive chest!!!
Frank Cotter pressed the button on his intercom and said, “Send in the next applicant, Miss Brooks,” and as an after thought mumbled, “an let’s for christ’s sake hope she’s a good one!!!” While he scanned the remaining names on the list, Frank didn’t even notice until he looked up that a beautiful blonde was standing shyly in front of his desk, patiently waiting to get his attention!!! “You must be Chris,” he said after glancing back down at his list, “I’m glad to meet you, I’m Frank Cotter, please, have a seat, by the way, would you care for something to drink, soda, coffee!?!” “Uh, no thanks,” she replied softly, “I’m just fine!!!” “Okay then, let’s get down to business,” Frank replied in smooth even voice, “just to make sure we’re both on the same page, I’ve gotta ask you your age!!!” “I’m nineteen,” she answered quickly, “just turned last week, why, is it important!?!” “Where are you from, Chris,” he asked while ignoring her question!?! “I’m from Omaha, Nebraska,” she replied!!! “Been in L.A. long,” he asked!?! “About three weeks,” she replied!?! “Almost out of money,” he pressed on!?! “I-I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” she stammered!!! After taking a deep breath and leaning back in his chair Frank rubbed his eyes and offered, “Go back to Omaha, baby, this ain’t no place for you!!!”
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Even though she looked fragile, with her little girl appearance, inside beat the heart of someone who always got what they wanted, so in a defiant voice she replied, “I’m not going anywhere, and if you don’t give me a job, I’ll just get one some place else!!!” Frank eyed the little fire brand with a bit more respect, and then in a soft voice asked her, “Do you know what we do here, I mean really what you’d be doing on a day to day basis!?!” “Well, not exactly,” she replied, “but I know it’s some kind of modeling or something isn’t it!?!” “It’s more like something,” he replied evenly, “what we do here Chris is make videos of women trying on lingerie, and sometimes, they open their legs to the camera and masturbate to orgasm, do you still want the job!?!” Chris was definitely taken aback by his explanation, but after gathering her courage, she replied in a clear firm voice, “I said I did didn’t I, when do I start!?!”
“Come on in, Krista,” Mrs. Cox said easily, “Tommy isn’t home yet, but he should be here any minute now, can I get you something to drink!?!” “Uh, no thanks, Mrs. Cox, I’m fine, I just finished dinner,” Krista replied, “if you don’t mind I’ll just wait for Tommy in the living room!?!” “That’s fine, dear,” Jane Cox answered, “but if you’d rather, I’m making some cookies in the kitchen and I sure could use some company!!!” “Okay, sure,” Krista said while following her boyfriend’s mother into the spacious cooking area, “gee those smell pretty good, I sure wish I knew how to bake like that!!!” Jane Cox threw back her head and with a laugh replied, “Listen, honey, don’t let anyone fool you, if you can read, you can cook, and believe me, if I can do it, you can too!!!” Krista picked up a warm butter scotch cookie, took a bite and replied, “Well I wish that understanding men was as easy as learning to bake!!!” Jane put down her bowl and asked softly, “Don’t tell me you and Tom are having trouble now, I thought you two were just made for each other!!!” After taking another bite of her cookie, Krista said slowly, “I thought we were, it’s just that we’re having some problems!!!”
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Jane Cox could sense instantly that Krista was really worried about something, so she wrapped her arm around the eighteen year old’s shoulder, gave her a hug, and said softly, “I’m a good listener, honey, so why don’t you tell me what’s bothering you!!!” With tears welling up in her eyes, Krista began sobbing quietly before blurting out, “I-it’s just that I don’t think Tommy cares about my needs as a woman, all he cares about is himself!!!” “Ohhhh, are you sure about that,” Jane Cox asked softly, “Tommy seems very devoted to you, dear!?!” “He is in most ways,” Krista said while sniffling, “but when it comes to, you know, well he just doesn’t take care of me, that’s all!!!” “You mean he doesn’t take care of you sexually,” Jane asked, making sure that she and Krista were taking about the same thing!?! “Exactly,” Krista replied while wiping her eyes, “I always make sure that he’s satisfied, and believe me, he has a beautiful cock and I just love sucking him off, but just once I wished he do the same for me!!!” “Hmmmm,” Jane hummed before saying, “that just isn’t like Tommy to act like that, and if what you say is true, I’m very disappointed in him, he has to be made to realize that a woman’s vagina is very demanding and needs to be serviced regularly with both the mouth and of course his erection!!!” Krista nodded her head agreement and then asked, “Everything you say is true, Mrs. Cox, but what can we do about it!?! “Well, dear,” Jane Cox replied, “you just leave that to me!!!”
“I’ll kill that fucking bastard,” screamed Jennifer Boyle, the wife of the President of the United States, “every fucking time I go out of town on his fucking business I have to hear stories about his incessant fucking around!!!” This wasn’t the first time that Jim Knox had heard this little tirade, and as the lead Secret Service body guard for the First Lady, he had seen and heard more than his fair share of intra family squabbling, but when ever she went off like this, it was better just to try and blend into the back ground and hope her tantrum would blow over quickly. Tonight, however, he had a feeling that the President had crossed over some imaginary line of demarcation, and maybe, just maybe Mrs. Boyle was going to cause Kennsington Holton Boyle more than a little trouble! She poured herself a scotch and water, and uncharacteristically offered him one. “Come on Jimmy, have a drink with me, I’m staying in the rest of the night and you go off duty in a couple of hours, so what’s the harm,” she asked in almost a pleading voice??? “No thanks ma’am, I really have to stay sharp, if it ever got out that agents were drinking on the job, well, I’m afraid it would be all over,” replied Jim gently. “Sweet Jesus Christ,” she muttered, “I can’t even get the help to have a drink with me,” while draining her glass and immediately pouring another! Normally Jim would have kept his mouth shut and let Mrs. Boyle work it out for herself, but tonight was different, she was really hurting inside. Her husband’s philandering was taking a vicious toll on his wife and Jim couldn’t understand how a man married to such a beautiful and devoted wife could even think about cheating on her! Through three campaigns for governor as well as hundreds of other fund raisers and political meetings, Jennifer Boyle had let her whole career as a lawyer stand on hold as she pushed her husband towards the prize of the presidency, and usually after meeting them both, most people wondered if the wrong Boyle got elected! “Mrs. Boyle,” Jim said softly, “I just want you to know that it has been a privilege protecting you, and that in my eyes you are a true patriot!” Jennifer Boyle cocked her head to one side, took a long drink, and then slid to the floor with glass in hand and began to sob!!!
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Jim Knox raced across the room and tried to help the First Lady to her feet, worried that some of the help might come in and see her in this agitated state. He could see it in the tabloids now, “First Lady Falling Down Drunk And Crying Over Kenny’s Trysts!!!” Well if he had anything to say about it, that headline would never see the light of day! “Come on, Mrs. Boyle, you can’t lay there like this, get to your feet and we’ll talk about it,” Jim pleaded! “Okay Jimmy, she slurred, “talk to me then, tell what a great man my husband is and why I’m sooooooo lucky to be married to him!!!” After Jim finally got her into an easy chair over by the desk and away from the liquor cabinet, it was then he broke a cardinal rule of the Service, Never Ever Bad Mouth Any Member Of The First Family!!! He was seething inside that his president would treat such a fine lady in such a shabby disgraceful fashion, and he just blurted out, “No ma’am, I’m not going to say that, he’s not worthy of your company let alone your bed, and if I had my druthers, he would be horse whipped for the way he has treated you!!!”
